Fa-ti Fanisms: The Wit and Wisdom of Prof. Fa-ti Fan
Prof. Fan, the man...
"I am not that long... I mean, in terms of my height..."
"Fa-ti has inner desires... Fa-ti has Oedipus complex..."
Prof. Fan, the educator...
"Are you sufficiently confused?"
"Do you understand? If yes, say yes, and if no, say yes."
"Then, something happened at the turn of the century. What?" ...silence... "Of course you don't know; I haven't told you yet!"
"I feel happy when I don’t receive emails from my students."
Prof. Fan, the modest scholar...
"This is the only class on the history of science and technology on this campus, so it is unique... although, you won't find anyone else on this campus who could teach this class, anyway..."
Prof. Fan on diplomatic relations...
"We are enemies... so we are not friendly..."
Prof. Fan on empathizing with the tribulations of others...
"There was a small [nuclear] accident on the Susquehanna River... luckily, it's not our part, so who cares..."
Prof. Fan on Newton's laws...
"This is how it is. I don't want to explain to you why, because I don't know, but this is how it is."
Prof. Fan on psychology...
Fan: What is Oedipus complex?
Student: When you want to have sex with your father?
Prof. Fan on warfare...
Fan: What are gunboats?
Student: They're boats... with guns on them...
Prof. Fan on the Binghamton social life...
"After 5, downtown Binghamton is dead; everyone goes home, except some undergraduates who go there to drink and barf... although I don't know what university they're from..."
Prof. Fan on stream of consciousness...
"One moment, I am listening to the lecture... next moment, I am looking at the bird in the tree, forget Fa-ti's lecture!... Next moment, I am worried about my bike being stolen by a strange person... next moment, I am thinking that I want to buy a hamburger from the vending machine, but I only have 50 cents... it's not enough..."
Prof. Fan on the aging process...
"Let's think back to a few months ago, when you were younger and more energetic..."
Prof. Fan on progress:
Fan: (after digressing from the lecture topic) So, where were we?
Student: Progress.
Fan: Right... we're not making much progress...
Prof. Fan on economics...
"This is a state university, so about a quarter of the funding comes from the state. Then some of it comes from your tuition. You pay my salary, for example... thank you."
Prof. Fan on atomic timekeeping experiments...
"So, the astronauts strapped themselves to the atomic bomb... no, wait, the atomic clock..."
Prof. Fan on severe illness...
"Say something is bothering you for five days... it's so serious, you can't concentrate on watching TV..."
Prof. Fan on viruses...
"They can mutate, but you don't become, like, X-Men..."
Prof. Fan on the future of America...
Fan: We are young people! We are the backbone of our nation!
Student: Don't you feel sorry for our nation?
Prof. Fan on nineteenth century healthcare...
Fan: I broke my arm... who would I go to?
Student: A priest?
Fan: A priest? You are a strange person, sir.
Prof. Fan on whether class is over yet...
"Nonononononono. No. No. Nononononono. No."
Prof. Fan, master of onomatopoeias...
"Koo-koo-koo-koo!" (ATM buttons)
"Whooo!" (chalk flying)
"Whooo!" (trying to wake students up)
"Goo-goo-goo-goo-goo!" (sword fighting)
"Shoo!" (a black hole)
"Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa" (a sanguine person)
"Choo!" (an arm amputation)
"Dwong!", "Go-go-go-go-go!", "Doo!", "Pyoo!", "Choo!", "Gwong!", "Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo", etc. (various sound effects)
Prof. Fan was wrong about one thing...
"Theoretically, you can open a website just like the New York Times... of course, no one will go to your crappy website..." (but you've just finished reading it!)
Quotations recorded during HIST 286D, History of Science and Technology, during the Fall 2001 semester. Course also taught as HIST 238: Science and Technology in the Modern World.